And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
