All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
