I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
