I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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