Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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