I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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