What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
