Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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