kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
They are going to name an STD after you.
I am one with the molecules
Randomize