He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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