I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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