I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
