chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
