plz talk dirty to me
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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