Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize