you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
