Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize