I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
