If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
