whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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