Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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