Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
