Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
