Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Quick, to the slutcave!
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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