I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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