I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
