She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Why did my mother make you get naked?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
