So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
