You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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