Tell her she can't have a vagina
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
