so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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