and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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