god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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