Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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