If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I accidentally had phone sex last night
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
