Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I've blown a few things in my day
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Randomize
