look no pants
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
the day after is always just damage control
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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