My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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