ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize