I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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