You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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