it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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