Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
