well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
false alarm. still invincible.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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