I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
