I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
