nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
So many bounce houses so little time
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
