Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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