The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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