You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
