Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
