she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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