Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
