I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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