He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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