You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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