Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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