Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
