Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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