Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
