Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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