It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
