If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
