I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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