bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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