The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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