we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
