All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Houston, we have a squirter
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We don't watch enough power rangers
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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