i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
