I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
