I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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